I feel good, but you look terribly!

Dear Portia
It was nice to hear from you, dear, but I'm afraid I have to take issue with something you said.
You said you feel badly because your best friend is getting a divorce?
Oh, dear!
That is a shame.
Not the divorce. Your English!
Now listen up. You don't feel badly. You feel bad.
In your entire life, if you live to be a hundred, you will never feel badly!
(Unless you're not very good at feeling, but that's a whole nother story, as I hope you see.)
I'm talking mood, here. I'm talking raw emotion. I'm talking the way you feel.
Here are some possibilities:

You feel pretty (Prettily? Please!)
You feel young (No such word as youngly)
You feel attractive
You feel stupid (and you should!)
You feel ... well, you get the point, I suppose.

So stop saying "I feel badly about their divorce (or whatever)."
It's stupid.
And the divorce is probably the best thing for those two.
They'll both feel good about it when it's over.

Fondly
Uncle Jack